Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
someone owes me an orgasm
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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