listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize