I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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