TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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