yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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