We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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