We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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