Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize