so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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