? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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