so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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