she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
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She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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