i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize