16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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