Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize