walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize