Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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