i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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