You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I wish there were birth control emojis
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Bring me that man meat
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize