BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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