Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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