I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize