dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I want to be your penis for a week.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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