Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize