just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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