I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
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My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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