my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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