At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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