I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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