Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm always down for nudity.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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