Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
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The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
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Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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