so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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