dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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