the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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