Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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