exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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