and she was petting her beer can
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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