im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize