the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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