he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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