I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
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I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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