fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
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please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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