if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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