Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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