im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize