I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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