Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
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Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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