Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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