I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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