I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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